The Art of Persuasion

Written  by Keith Pittman

With a number of politicians jockeying for position as we approach the 2016 election, chances are you will be hearing a lot of debate and rhetoric going back and forth on all sides of the issues.  You may be amused by it, you may be angered by it, or you may try to avoid listening to it altogether.  Too often, I’m afraid the real issues become lost in a sea of bickering and personal attacks instead of being presented in a way that each side of the issue is clearly articulated and understood with a spirit of mutual respect.

If we are not careful, we can fall into the trap of doing this ourselves without realizing it.

For the past 20 years, I have had the privilege of coaching a local high school debate team.  These students are passionate about winning their arguments and are often quite relentless in doing so.  One of the first things I tell them in coaching sessions is to not let their zeal get the best of them and to check their egos at the door before even beginning to speak.   Too often, a valid position can be misunderstood, not accepted or flat out rejected based solely on the character and temperament of the presenter.

Since we all need to effectively convince others of something from time to time, I wanted to share my own philosophy of the art of persuasion.   This philosophy and technique is based largely on what I consider to be my life verse from James 1:19.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (NIV)

This is some of the greatest advice ever given.  My grandfather was like that.  He didn’t have much to say, but when he spoke, it was well thought out and everybody listened.  It’s an example he lived daily based on the words of James and one I have long tried to imitate.

There are several key lessons to be learned from James that can benefit us all whenever we find ourselves trying to support a position in which others disagree.

1. Listen before reacting. Always evaluate every argument carefully before drawing a conclusion.
2. If we all are as right as we think we are, there would be no reason for debate – and no progress in the world. Civil discourse is a good thing. James hit the nail on the head. Listening, speaking with restraint, and avoiding anger are keys to keeping it civil.  When that doesn’t happen, things can get out of hand quickly.
3. Never refuse to consider the opponent’s position. The more you learn about the opposition’s case before reacting, the better you can tactfully refute it and the better case of your own you can build. Who knows? There may even be some common ground.
4. Speak from knowledge and facts, not from anger.
5. Treat the opponent with the utmost respect. Always. Without exception.
6. Make your arguments well-reasoned. Stick to the facts. Make the argument about the issues, not the personalities involved.  An argument is never won with personal attacks, but is often won with supporting facts, sound logic, and, perhaps most importantly, a respectful understanding and refutation of the opposing position. To accomplish this, one must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, just as James suggests.
7. Keep in mind that ‘slow to speak’ does not mean ‘avoid debate’. Quite the contrary. It simply means to avoid saying anything that one might regret or using inflammatory language that would hurt others.  It does not mean to avoid speaking with passion, but I do believe that it means to maintain respect and understanding in the process.  In short, “think before you speak.”

Too often we are so set in our position and so convinced that we are completely right that we fail to even listen to or even respect the other side. That’s not debate. And in the end all we really get are two ships that pass in the night.  Effective debate commands listening carefully and respectfully to the opposition (quick to listen), considering and evaluating the merits of their argument before responding (slow to speak), and always maintaining the utmost respect for the opponent even when we disagree (slow to anger).

We don’t always have to agree.   But the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 16:14 should apply without exception even amid those times of dissent:   “Let all that you do be done with love.” (NKJV)