Friday Friends on a Saturday Afternoon

Written by Tammy Walls

Recently, I joined two friends for lunch at a lovely restaurant called Friday Friends. It sits on the banks of the Catawba River, underneath a canopy of large, old trees, creating a relaxing atmosphere that truly sets the stage for a nice, long visit with friends. In our case, a very long visit…four hours! Yep. We arrived at 12:30 and didn’t leave until 4:30.

While the length of our visit may appear to be the most unbelievable aspect, it really isn’t. The amazing part is the fact that it was a first for me. Lunch with girlfriends who weren’t co-workers or family members. Just three females, reconnecting.

(Men…. If you’re still reading, please don’t leave! There’s an important lesson for you guys.)

I hadn’t seen Tiea in 35 years. Sheila and I had visited briefly, for the first time since graduation, a couple of years ago when our team from The Light was in Burke County for the Day of Hope. My team delivered school supplies to sweet little Chesterfield Elementary, where she teaches.

While I had classes with Tiea in junior high, and Sheila had been in my 2^nd grade class, I’d never been “close” friends with them. Tiea was in band; Sheila was a cheerleader; I was in cosmetology. They seemed confident and self-assured, while I battled a desperate need to please, coupled with low self-esteem. (They corrected me on that misconception…)

Yet, there I was….all those old insecurities melting away, while we reminisced about the past. Of course, Tiea and Sheila had never been anything other than kind and respectful to me, making the whole gathering something I looked forward to, rather than dread. In contrast, I had to think, would I spend four hours with a couple of those girls? You know…the Mean Girls. Who build themselves up by tearing others down.  The ones who made me feel “not good enough”? I don’t know. Maybe.

But, on that Saturday afternoon, there were no qualms of inadequacy. No measuring stick that was unattainable. Just an indescribable cocoon of acceptance. We weren’t all three on the same page, by any means. Our views of God ranged from conservative to open-ended. Tiea and Sheila had gone to college after graduation. I had immediately, and too quickly, married and began a family. Three women with parallels intersecting our differences, while it all seemed to come together as one cohesive story.

We talked of failed marriages, healed marriages, remarriages, and the acceptance of remaining unmarried. We talked about our mistakes and times of poor judgment. We shared our triumphs and blessings, along with our heartaches. Of losing loved ones to the unthinkable. Of loved ones who courageously battle unimaginable physical afflictions. With one member of our group falling into that very category.

All those minutes surrounded me like a healing balm. Afterward, as we went back to our “real” lives, I felt strengthened and restored, taking pieces of those dear friends with me. Tiea’s resolve to graciously accept whatever God sees fit to send her way. Sheila’s sweet presence that makes you know she’d give you a hug while you cry. I’m still riding the crest of that friendship wave.

Ladies, if you avoid those Girlfriend Get-Togethers out of insecurity, be brave and embrace them. If you miss out on them because of busy-ness and work and kids and errands, rearrange your schedule and get your estrogen fix. If you decline, fearing what your husband is going to say, please consider a heart-to-heart conversation with him to get to the bottom of his concerns.

Men …. Encourage your wife to bond with her sister-friends. Tell her you’ll give the kids a sandwich while she spends a couple of hours with females who’ll give her what she needs in order to be a better wife and mother…sisterhood with her girlfriends. Trust me; everyone’s a winner on that one.

Now. As for me, I’m already planning our next get-together!

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10